Crying Over Spilled Milk

Do you ever feel like your love for another human is so great and overwhelming, that you can't possibly contain it all? I wish I could describe it better than that. But basically, it is like taking a jug of milk and trying to pour all of its contents into a thimble. Inevitably, it will spill all over the place, and become a big uncontainable mess.

Sometimes my feelings for people get poured out, and become too big of a mess for me to be able to clean up. And sometimes, when I thought I was pouring milk, I was actually pouring orange juice. But I don't realize it until I'm mopping up the spill.
My point is that I'm still trying to figure out this love business, and trying to comprehend how I'm suppose to react once I feel it coming on. I wonder what true love feels like.

In relation to that type of love, is also Motherly love, or the love of a Parent.
Tonight, as I was putting Carter to sleep, I could feel that love bubbling up out of me. I was holding him close when it happened, then before I knew it, I was crying. I could not believe how much love I have for such a tiny little guy. And I also couldn't believe that Heavenly Father would trust me with his life! I don't feel worthy to be the Mother of such an amazing little boy. He brings me more happiness then I ever thought possible. He is such a blessing.

I apologize for the odd and unexpected blog post. As I was about to turn the computer off for the night, these thoughts came to my head, and so I just had to share. I have another one I'm working on that I can't wait to share as well. Hopefully soon I can put the final touches on it.


Share with me your ideas on love, and what that word means to you.

25 Things, Because I'm Feeling Uncreative

I am working on a large post, so don't you fret! This was just something I posted on my Facebook page a while ago entitled "25 Things". I thought it was fun, and something that will tide you all over until I can find the time to post something of real value. Enjoy.


25 useless things to know about yours truly

1. I am absolutely positive I have a sixth sense.

2. I have a love/hate relationship with chocolate that has been going on since my toddler years. One time, I was craving chocolate so badly, that I hunted down the only trace of it I could find in my entire house. Only to find out that I had just sunk my teeth into a bar of baking cocoa. It was awful! I remember scratching at my tongue for hours afterwards.

3. I have always been incredibly self conscious of my hands and feet. I think it rooted from my youth when my brother use to call me “Puppy Paws”. Explaining to everyone that I’ll never grow into them.

4. Speaking of my brother, as a child, I was very fascinated with his circle of friends. They were all 7+ years older then me, and had seemingly obscure philosophies on life. Along with their grunge’ish apparel, and their idealistic ways of thinking, I thought they were the most amazing people to ever walk the earth. This lead me to discover my own quixotical and romantic side, along with my love of poetry, music, and the arts.

5. I have a strong respect for the written word. It’s so sacred to me. I didn’t as a child. I always had a very difficult time with reading. But now, as an adult, and with a child of my own, I have come to love books and especially poetry. You will often catch me hidden away in my room, writing in my journal, or reading aloud to Carter. I have purchased more books in the last year, then in my entire life.

6. I have had some bizarre collections over the years. Everything from pens and baby dolls, to key chains and Barbies. I had a collection of balls at one point, and even a collection of rocks! I’ve collected elephants, socks, chapstick, puzzles, hats, stickers, board games, cameras, wooden boxes and pennies. Now days I don’t necessarily “collect” anything. I’ve just simply acquired many things. Such as bottles of lotion, movies, thousands of songs, tubes of lip gloss, and books.

7. I prefer male friends verses female. I just have more in common with them. I’m a different kind of gal, and tend to relate more to the male gender.

8. I’m very sentimental. I have a difficult time being able to let go of inanimate objects. I have a nightgown of my mother’s I just can’t bring myself to throw away. It embodies so many memories of her.
I’m the same way about people. Once you’re friends with me, we’re friends for life. Maybe not close friends, but friends still the same. I just like to stay in contact.

9. Up until this year, I had never been on a treadmill for the purpose of exercise.

10. I would rather be home alone spending time with Carter, then spending time with most people in my life. Even though I’m very social, I like to be home with my family.

11. I have always dreamed about living in another century. Or, better said, I’ve always dreamed of being Emma in Jane Austen’s book. There’s something so intensely romantic about Mr. Knightly, and the whole situation. A best friend turned lover? *long sigh* I’m hopeless. The book is an amazing read. Maybe this is why I loved the movie Clueless so much in the 90’s. I’m a weirdo, I know, but there’s just something about the 18th century that completely captivates me.

12. I have a special connection with the Redwood Forest. I can’t explain it.

13. I like to think I’m spontaneous. But when it comes right down to it, I’m usually not.

14. Until recently, I never realized that I have mild ADD. Sometimes, I have to have my hands occupied while trying to hone in on my focusing skills. This may also explain why I enjoy silly putty so much.

15. When I finally do get the chance to have another baby, it will be a girl. I know it. I’ve seen it.

16. Really? I’m only on sixteen? Oh geez…
Okay, here’s one: My favorite TV show as a child was “Today's Special”. I particularly loved Muffy in her tiny apartment.

17. Number sixteen actually relates to something else about me. I love little things. I would play with my “littles” as I would call them when I was younger, and would go around the house creating little lands everywhere. I would hide my ‘littles’ in every crevice you can imagine.

17. Until I was well into my 20’s, I thought the words to “Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead” were “Ding dong, the witch is dead. Wickle witch? The wicked witch!”

18. When I was pregnant with Carter, I only wanted to eat pizza, Laffy Taffy, and chocolate milk.
And might I just add as well, that I love being pregnant. I mean, LOVE IT. I was so glowy and happy. Not really sick, and never miserable. I have even contemplated being a surrogate because I love it that much.

19. For a long time, my favorite crayon was Brick Red.

20. I often wonder if I’m a good Mom. It’s as though I feel like I don’t deserve such an amazing little boy.

21. I once drank a small shot glass of syrup to impress a really hot teacher. That’s right, syrup. Which is funny because I love syrup. But that was just insane. I do not recommend it.

22. I also do not recommend hitting, what you think might be a grocery sack, with your car, while driving over 80mph. Just don’t do it. You will thank me later.
I have had the most random run-ins with animals recently. I think for a while there, they were conspiring against me.

23. My favorite numbers are 4 and 36.

24. I bought “Spanish for dummies” the other day. I still haven’t opened it.

25. I would like to learn more about the following: photography, literature, music theory, computers in general, ancient South America, guitars, pianos, and most importantly, I would like to learn more about supernovas. Yep, that’s right, giant explosions fascinate me.

P.S. I have two number seventeen’s on this list. I didn’t realize it until just now, and I’m leaving it the way it is. So there :P

Photo Time (it's like Hammer Time, but cooler)

It's late at night, I'm sleepy, but I can't seem to shake this desire to post some recent photos. So, much to your surprise I'm sure, here are some recent pics of a day in the life of Becky and Carter. Enjoy...

Carter, showing me his artistic side. I swear I only turned my back for five seconds...

He told me he was making 'bug eyes'.

Poor guy. Shopping with Mommy sucks.

A typical night for us. Tents are the coolest!

Carter went to the Zoo with Grandma Debbie, and this is what happened. SCARY.

Iron Man is stalking me...

Carter and his Easter loot.

I drove to Idaho Wednesday to see my cousin Keynan graduate High School. These are two of my favorite guys. I ♥ cousins!

This is the winning team 'Egg Babies' from a team building exercise we had at work. This picture cracks me up!

Oh yeah, and I met Tom Hanks while bowling at fatCats. Good times.

And I colored my hair red. Yep, red.